Faithfully funny

A hundred and twenty five religious leaders – lay and ordained – gathered in St. Patrick’s church basement last Wednesday to motivate faith-based actions on immigration. I’ve chosen the top three funniest things of the day to share with you.

1. Arming yourself with the Bible
A minister, whose white color reflected his holy status, found himself without a pad of paper and too shy to ask his neighbor. He was armed with a pen, the agenda, and – thank God – the Holy Bible. God must have surely intervened, for without the Bible backing, the inspiring and non-prescriptive words of our panel would be lost. The Bible served as a great tablet, even if his pen may have slipped a time or two.

2. Praying, technologically speaking
When the Bishop popped out his iPhone to check notes during his opening panel, I figured the poor man had been up all night, and couldn’t remember the basic facts of his organization. Generally a wonderful speaker, he was just shy of inarticulate that day. Yet, when the Rabbi led closing prayers from his iPhone, I realized this must be a growing trend with religious leaders. Check the weather, google naked girls, write a sermon, see if you have any e-mail. All within a day’s work. I knew that iPhones were amazing, but can they supply me with spiritual counseling, or absolve my sins? I’ll take one please!

3. A great place to meet a date
My San Francisco break-out group had 20 activists sitting in a circle, 18 of which were female. While some of them were taken out of the running because their religious oaths prohibits copulation, and others hand rings on their fingers, others you could say were “up for grab”. With so much networking going on, there were no unattached non-ministers to pick up on socially-conscious chicks. It wouldn’t have been considered out of place in a basement where so many business cards were already changing hands. Boys, all you got to do is show up!


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