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Deline and fall…

So, naturally the same day that I post a screed against newspapers, My “hometown paper” announces that they need to either get bought or shut down*

Naturally I found out about this on a blog, the Chronicle won’t be publishing it’s next issue until tomorrow morning sometime…

*The third option is to fuck the union

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The end of History(‘s first draft)

Much has been made of late about the “Death of the Newspaper”. These articles– like this one from time– never use those scare quotes; their use is implied. What has never, to me, been sufficiently explained is: why I care if the newspapers die.

I don’t. The basic problem (for the newspapers) is that I’ve got a magic box on my desk from which I can: Chat with my friends, Order books, Buy Other Stuff, Watch movies, Listen to music, Surf for Porn, and Make grammatical Mistakes like Capitalizing improperly.

In addition to sitting on my desk, the box comes in convenient “lap” and “phone” size.

If news is going to reach me, it’s going to have to do so this way. I’m pretty well served for International news: Her Majesty’s Secret News Source does a great job. So does Turner’s Folly. As does Microsoft’s only non-crashing program. And others.

The claim that quality punditry can only come from new newspaper is so laughable that not even the Dead Tree’s most ardent defenders are making it.

Local news, I’m told. There are no quality local news outlets. This is demonstrably false.

Newspapers aren’t timely: they take up to 24 whole hours to report on basic things like traffic, fires, earthquakes, and other events. And if your local newspaper decides not to cover the world’s largest pillow fight, it’s pretty useless.

Newspapers do a ton of original reporting, it’s true. Like the time the New York Times declined, for 14 months, to tell America that we were being spied on by our own government.

For that sin, if nothing else. Let ‘em burn like the useless paper they are.

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