Ain’t I a Man?
Over the last couple of years, I’ve been working out. A lot. Losing weight*, putting on muscle, becoming more fit. This may not be for everyone, but I’m finally getting my self image in line with my external image. Along the way, I’ve learned how to dress myself.
It turns out this is extremely fun. It may not be what everyone considers fun, and that’s fine. I’m a geek, though, and there are a whole new set of constantly evolving rules to learn and play with. It’s sort of like World of Warcraft– but I’m leveling myself. Also, this season’s shoulders are less ridiculous than WoW’s.
I went to a local coffee shop this morning to get myself some coffee and a breakfast bagel. Yes, I can totally make those at home. Sometimes, though, it’s nice just to have someone else make it for you. This place had one of those TVs that plays some ads and has a few snippets of news. Headline from the New York Times: “Is your Boyfriend a metrosexual?” They were selling a courier bag.
When I saw that ad, it rankled. I was so pissed off that in a white hot fury of rage, I.. tweeted about it. Which I admit is silly. That word, though, yeah that word annoys me. By creating a special category for “men who dress well”, it automatically makes us “other”. I admit that this is a minor “otherizing”, as such things go.
What this word does is take away our masculinity. We’re not “men”, we lack even the dignity of being gay men. We’re “Metrosexual”. Sex is right there in the name– not in a good way. It’s a suspect category. We’ll do girly things like clip our nails and possibly shave places that aren’t our faces.
Speaking of the gays, I really enjoy how the term manages to do double duty as an anti-gay pejorative. It punishes straight men for acting too much like gay men. Even my friends who would consider themselves queer-allies have a hard time breaking out of the mental box that categorizes gays as “other”. The message is that it’s OK to dress well if you’re gay– that’s what gays do. Straight men? No. Straights and gays must act differently and when a straight man dresses well, it threatens the dichotomy.
I have other thoughts on the topic, but I gotta run. I hear there’s a sale at Van Heusen. I’d love to know what you think, so leave a comment.
* 90lbs, if you’re wondering.
